easter

I know, I know, it’s February.  But this whole Easter thing started in January actually.  All I can say is if you don’t have a church to be at on Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday this year, may I suggest you visit Bell Shoals.  I am fulfilling a huge dream to do two Sundays full of drama, dance, sets, costumes- and we’re well underway.  The music we’re singing is gonna be incredible.  The solos are kickin.  The drama is on paper, and people are signing up.  The pictures we’re going to create through live drama should be powerful.  The dances are going to be compelling images of tangible worship.  And more than anything, if we keep ourselves in perspective, then I know the Lord is gonna be pleased- and even more than that… blessed.  I am excited.  That’s all I can say.  Thank you Jesus for my job. 

compliments

Compliments of my friend Abby, I have a new phrase:

“You’re the butt crack sand in my life.”

After laughing hysterically, I thought this was a fun one to share, and a hilarious way to describe the things in our life that are uncomfortable. Thanks Abby.

center self

Better yet, self centered.  I am so so so guilty of this.  I’ll get worked up over what work I need to get done, what tasks are on MY to-do list, what time I do or don’t have free, things I feel like I deserve, stuff I want or I need, when it’s MY desire or MY dream, or when I’ve been hurt or MY needs aren’t met … the list never ends.  When I take a moment to focus on that, I realize how much I’m centering my whole life on me. 

Instead, Jesus wants me to be all about Him.  Well, no offense, but that’s easy to say, it’s easy to “claim” I’m doing, and it’s easy to pretend I have any idea what that means whatsoever.  In a little study this morning, the thought occurred to me that to be all about Jesus, he’s gonna have to wean me from my other dependencies… the other things I’m all about… which often tends to be myself.  I never realized that being truly dependant on Jesus had anything to do with being or not being selfish, but now I think they are completely linked.  The more I’m focused on my needs, my wants, what I deserve- the farther away I am from being submitted to the Lord.  And when I’m not submitting an area of my life to the Lord, it’s outside His awesome protection- vunerable to attack. 

Without a doubt, giving up those self centered thoughts and allowing the Lord to reclaim some areas in my life can certainly come with some fears.  So I leave you with this verse, it seemed like the perfect encouragment to  destroy my “center self” without fear or regret, since the Lord’s got my back anyway:  Deuteronomy 33: 27 “The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. And he thrust out the enemy before you  and said, Destroy.”

what wind?

The story of Peter walking on the water toward Jesus was always a fascinating one for me.  I would suppose that’s because I’ve always thought the coolest super hero skill would be the ability to fly, and essentially that’s what Peter was doing… hovering about the surface of the water, walking toward Jesus.  (see Matthew 14:22-36 if you’re not familiar with it).  I gathered a unique perspective on this story in some study time this morning…

Peter began to sink into the water because He took his eyes off Jesus.  That’s right there, plain as day in the text, but what isn’t plain is what his surroundings looked like.   I’ve always pictures this story with heavy rains, and violent waves- like something out of “The Deadliest Catch”.  The waves were indeed rough (v.24), but the scripture says that Peter was distracted by the “wind.”  It doesn’t even mention that they were in a storm- just high winds.  Interestingly enough… we can’t see the wind!  So what was Peter distracted by?  The wind blowing the waves?  The wind blowing the rain, if there even was rain?  Maybe he thought the wind was gonna blow him over?  Considering that it could have just been high winds, I almost want to scoff at Peter’s struggle and ask him, “what are you so worried about?!  It’s just wind!!”  I puzzled over this. 

As I stared at the page thinking about this, I noticed something interesting.  When I stare at something long enough, the surrounding area does that strange black fading thing.  You start to lose the details of everything around what you’re focusing on, and until you break your focus off the main thing, you get to the point that you literally can’t see anything else.  (I know you see where I’m going with this).  So often, especially lately, I’ve been getting distracted… watching and focusing on the “wind and waves” that are threatening my safety.  What good is it to worry and fret about the things I can’t control?  High winds are coming, I know that, but watching for it and waiting for it to hit me isn’t going to help.  Besides, by the time the wind reaches me- I have no idea how much it will have dwarfed in comparison to my great God.  Maybe I need to take a moment and view my current situations in the same vain as I did Peter, and ask myself, “what are you so worried about… it’s just wind!”  If I’d stop focusing on the threat of wind, and keep my focus locked on Jesus, I feel confident He’d allow those things to fade away- to the point that I could ask, “what wind?”  That’s my goal today.  Look past the hurt, the pain, the stress, the worry, and the fear of what future wind and waves may come, and stare so intently on my Savior that I can honestly ask, “what wind?”

support

“For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.”
2 Chronicles 16:9a

That’s the kind of support I want, and desperately need. My awesome brother shared this verse with me this morning, reminding me that the Lord is actively looking for the people who are completely committed to Him, and when He finds them, he doles out His unconditional support. Wow. Thank you Lord.

Carry You To Jesus

Carry You To Jesus
Steven Curtis Chapman
Listen here for free

[Gal. 6:2; Luke 5:18-20]

I will not pretend to feel the pain you’re going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you’ve known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don’t know

Well, I’ll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we’re at the mercy of God’s higher ways
And our ways are so small

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

It’s such a privilege for me to give this gift to you
All I’d ever hope you’d give me in return
Is to know that you’ll be there to do the same for me
When the tables turn

And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you, yeah
I’ve given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you

I’ll carry you
I’ll take you to Jesus on my knees

the war is on

I don’t know about you, but it seems like the devil is striking hard in 2009.  Everywhere I turn I find Godly people without a job, families struggling, relationships strained, personal battles…  In chatting with a few friends last night, I was laughing at the fact that I am afraid of the dark.  Yes, it’s true, I am terrified of completely dark spaces- especially huge ones- like our worship center.  At times during the week I will need to head in there and I will go out of my way to walk the long way around, just so I can enter the door directly adjacent to the light switch.  As we giggled about this, Josh said, “I don’t know that I’m afraid of the dark, but the sanctuary in the dark is really scary sometimes.  Can you imagine the spiritual warfare that goes on in that room!”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  If the enemy has done nothing more than make me oblivious about the Spiritual battle that’s going on all around me, then he’s been succeeding.  So many hurts, so many struggles-  I’m praying for these friends and family, and even myself, but I haven’t been praying against the evil one who is trying to use that situation for ruin.  For a while, after reading a Frank Peretti book entitled “This Present Darkness”, I was keenly aware of the unseen battle that could literally be waging at my very feet or around my very body.  But after time I forgot.  As I write this, I almost picture that at any time, I could be nose to nose with the enemy and not even know it.  So, as silly as it sounds, I just stood up in my office and boldly told my enemy out loud to his face, “The war is on.”

been there, felt that

Some of the most painful and difficult times of my life have opened the greatest doors to relate to people going through similar circumstances. When I think back on those times, I was so overwhelmed I felt like there was no real hope… no happy outcome… no way to make my life right again… and certainly no way this would EVER be a good thing. But inevitably God brought things back to his favor- and I’m where I am today because of the hard times. I guess that makes me grateful for them. For the ability to say, “I may not have the perfect thing to say to you right now, but I’ve been there, and I’ve felt that, so I’m here.”  There are many things right now going on, and I feel a strong sense of urgency to lift these needs to the Father. I’ve prayed these prayers for myself. I’ve cried these tears for myself. It’s an honor to pray and cry them for you.

poem

I’ve tried too hard
Pushed to much
Dropped my guard
Become a crutch

Ignored my hurt
For the sake of yours
Eventually revert
Burying the sores

Without intention
We’ve landed here
Inconvenient one
My greatest fear

Time to move on
I’m not so sure
Already gone
Simply assure

If it’s not the end
Just let me know
And we shall mend
This friendship plateau

New Year

While bringing in the New Year, I learned some fun things.  Here’s some highlights:

-    Traveling in downtown streets with a GPS is a pleasure.  Forget paper instructions, forget poorly marked street signs from streets that are nothing but numbers anyway, because Victoria is kindly telling us where to go.  Thank you Victoria.

-     The “best” parking spots are usually the hardest to get out of.  Good thing we got a “smart” parking spot.

-     We were early, and this gave us time to enjoy live music and some fun people dancing in the court.  Something about older sweet couples not be afraid to dance together in public is endearing to me.

-     Reservations are a God-send.  Whoever came up with the idea of, “If our customers call ahead then we can plan our evening better and they can have a shorted wait.  Win-Win.”  So here’s to you Mr. Restaurateur-Reservation-Creator, thank you indeed.

-     When you’re not in a hurry, and the company is great, it doesn’t seem to matter that the food takes an hour and a half to get there… it also is nice when you get an out of this world amazing meal for an incredibly low price because the manager took a huge chunk off the bill.

-     I can’t do high heels all night.  Maybe I thought I could, but by the time I reached the end of the Pier, it was very clear I’d be walking back to the car barefoot.

-     Memories are special.  Last time I was down at this pier, Tim and I were celebrating our one year dating anniversary with Matthew and Christen Bonn.  We were babies back then, and little did we know that both if us had found our future spouse   It was sweet to remember this.

-    I love fireworks.  the end.  I also love kissing my sweet husband, Tim.  So how can New Years not be a good time!?

-     We were on the Pier for probably 45minutes to an hour waiting for the fireworks, walking around, and what-not.  During that course of that time, in the high cold winds, I managed to not get cold without a jacket.  When I got back in the warm car, I shivered for half an hour.  Weird.

-     When it’s a friend, it NEVER feels like an inconvenience

-     I’m excited for 2009.  Are you?  I’ve posting many pictures to facebook today.  Here are the links!  Happy New Year!

Cospito Family Photo Shoot
Christmas Part 1 ~ and ~ Christmas Part 2
New Year’s Eve